Based on readership (i.e., “views” as social media geeks call it), here are the top 3 Navy Friday Funny posts for 2020. All involve a Navy Chief (why is that NOT a surprise) and are all favorites. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Enjoy! and welcome to the year… 2021. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
An old Navy Chief and an old Marine Gunny were sitting at the VFW arguing about who\u2019d had the tougher career.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI did 30 years in the Corps,\u201d the Gunny declared proudly, \u201cand fought in three of my country\u2019s wars.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFresh out of boot camp I hit the beach at Okinawa, clawed my way up the blood-soaked sand, and eventually took out an entire enemy machine gun nest with a single grenade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAs a sergeant, I fought in Korea alongside General MacArthur. We pushed back the enemy inch by bloody inch all the way up to the Chinese border, always under a barrage of artillery and small arms fire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFinally, as a gunny sergeant, I did three consecutive combat tours in Vietnam. We humped through the mud and razor grass for 14 hours a day, plagued by rain and mosquitoes, ducking under sniper fire all day and mortar fire all night. In a fire fight, we\u2019d fire until our arms ached and our guns were empty, then we\u2019d charge the enemy with bayonets!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Navy Chief takes a long swig of his drink, then turns to the Gunny with a sly smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAh,\u201d said the Chief with a dismissive wave of his hand, \u201call shore duty, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A Navy Master Chief and an Admiral died on the same day and both went to heaven.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When they got to heaven, Saint Peter met them at the Pearly Gates. \u201cWelcome, gentlemen. Let me show you to you new quarters here in Heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Admiral asked with a smirk, \u201cMind if I see my <\/em>new home first? After all, I was an Admiral.\u201d Saint Peter replied, \u201cSure,\u201d and off the three of them went.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When they arrived at the Admiral\u2019s new home, they saw that it was a beautiful condo in a gated community with a swimming pool and a tennis court the Admiral could use.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Admiral was very pleased with his new condo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Saint Peter said, \u201cCome on, Master Chief. I\u2019ll show you where you are going to live here in heaven.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Admiral said he would like to tag along because he hadn\u2019t seen a lot of heaven yet. So off the three of them went to see the Master Chief\u2019s new home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When they arrived at a huge hill, they pulled up the drive and into a massive mansion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Saint Peter said, \u201cHere you go, Master Chief, this is your new home. It has a private pool, six bedrooms, a tennis court, and a private gym. This heavenly home has anything and everything you could possibly want.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n While the Master Chief was surveying his new home, the Admiral pulled Saint Peter to the side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don\u2019t understand why the Chief\u2019s home is so big and mine is only a condo. Down on earth, I was an Admiral and he was only<\/em> a Master Chief.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Saint Peter replied, \u201cAdmiral, you don\u2019t understand. You see, we get a lot <\/em>of Admirals here in heaven. But rarely do we see a Navy Master Chief!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n A Navy Chief Petty Officer was bragging to a young Ensign one day. \u201cYou know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone\u2026 anyone<\/em>, and I know them.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Tired of his boasting, the Ensign called the Chief\u2019s bluff. \u201cOkay, Chief. How about Tom Cruise?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, sure. Yeah. Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n So the two of them fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise\u2019s door and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, \u201cChief! Great to see you again! You and your little friend come right on in and join me for lunch!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Although impressed, the Ensign is still skeptical. After they leave Tom Cruise\u2019s house, he tells the Chief that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, no, not at all. Just name anyone else,\u201d the Chief says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPresident Bush,\u201d the Ensign quickly retorts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYep. I know him, too. Let\u2019s fly to Washington and I\u2019ll introduce you.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n So, off they go. At the White House, President Bush spots them on the tour and motions them over, saying, \u201cChief, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and that Ensign fella can come on in and let\u2019s catch up.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Well, the Ensign is very shaken by now, but still not totally <\/em>convinced. <\/p>\n\n\n\n After they leave the White House grounds, he again expresses his doubts to the Chief, who again implores him to name anyone else. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe new Pope,\u201d the Ensign replies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSure, I\u2019ve known the Pope a long time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, off they fly to Rome. They\u2019re assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when the Chief says, \u201cThis will never work. I can\u2019t catch the Pope\u2019s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I\u2019ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter\u2019s. Sure enough, half an hour later, the Chief emerges with the Pope on the balcony. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But by the time the Chief returns, he finds that the Ensign has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Working his way to the Ensign\u2019s side, the Chief asks, \u201cWhat happened?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n The Ensign looks up and says, \u201cI was doing fine until you and The Pope came out on the balcony and the tourist next to me asked, \u201cWho\u2019s that on the balcony next to the Chief?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\n\n\n\nThe Chief & the Ensign<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n