{"id":6520,"date":"2023-02-14T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-14T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/azadkinsiii.com\/blog\/?p=6520"},"modified":"2023-02-14T07:29:36","modified_gmt":"2023-02-14T12:29:36","slug":"138-sleep-problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/azadkinsiii.com\/blog\/138-sleep-problems\/","title":{"rendered":"#138\u2014Sleep Problems"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Trivia Questions (Answers @ end)<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. Who said, \u201c<\/em>Never forget the sense of loss; but never surrender to it.<\/em>\u201d<\/em>?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. In what TV show (and who said it) did we hear, \u201cLook at it from every angle, over & over again. Then, put it in a box and move on.\u201d<\/em>?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Match the following song titles with the artists:<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n
    a. \u201cIn Dreams\u201d  <\/td>Patsy Cline<\/td><\/tr>
    b. \u201cDream On\u201d <\/td>Hall & Oates<\/td><\/tr>
    c. \u201cA Head Full of Dreams\u201d<\/td>Roy Orbison<\/td><\/tr>
    d. \u201cYou Make My Dreams Come True\u201d <\/td>Coldplay<\/td><\/tr>
    e. \u201cSweet Dreams\u201d <\/td>Aerosmith<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
    \n\n\n
    <\/div>
    Blog #138 (Audio)<\/div><\/div>
    <\/div>

    Blog #138 – Sleep Problems<\/p>\n<\/div>

    Published: <\/span>February 13, 2023<\/span><\/div>
    <\/div>Audio by Andy Adkins<\/a><\/div><\/form><\/span>0<\/span> Downloads<\/span><\/span><\/div><\/div>
    <\/div>\n\n\n
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    \u201cTom, do you ever dream about sex?\u201d Michelle asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Michelle had helped Tom better understand PTSD and how to anticipate and overcome the ongoing episodes. He now counted her as one of his few friends. His father\u2019s dementia had brought them together. They had bonded because of their mutual friends, family, and similar Vietnam War experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Tom was not alone\u2014not anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    She had suggested the next time he had a nightmare, to not only journal the nightmare but also to \u201crewrite\u201d the ending in his own words on his terms. Doing so might help rewire his brain and thought process. \u201cWhen you have that nightmare again, force your thoughts to finish the dream the way you want\u2014your ending.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    That was an interesting conversation they\u2019d had a few weeks earlier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cTom, do you ever dream about sex?\u201d Michelle asked, seemingly out of the blue.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    He cautiously answered, \u201cYes,\u201d as he perked up, not knowing what she was really asking.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cDo you wake up in the middle of that dream, only wanting to close your eyes and\u2026 \u2018finish\u2019 the dream\u2026 your way?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Was she was flirting with him or just being professional and trying to help?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cYes,\u201d this time with a little less caution.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cSo, you can rewrite the ending of that dream\u2026 about sex\u2026 in your mind\u2026 half asleep. Am I correct?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cYes.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    That last statement hit Tom like a hammer\u2014he realized Michelle\u2019s simplistic analogy. She just handed him a key to help \u201cmanage\u201d his nightmares.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cIt may not work all the time, but it\u2019s a proven technique that works not only for combat veterans but also others who may experience PTSD.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    He had done that a few times as she\u2019d suggested and found that it helped. \u201cIt\u2019s not an exact science, but it\u2019s worth a try.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    The above text is an excerpt from my novel, NEVER FORGET<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Characters: Tom Reilly<\/strong>, Army Vietnam War veteran; Michelle Myers<\/strong>, psychologist at the retirement community where Tom\u2019s father, Ed Reilly<\/strong>, resides. She is divorced from a Vietnam Veteran and her<\/em> father, like Tom\u2019s, had also fought in World War II. This conversation is fictional, as are the characters and their names. But from what several readers have told me, powerful and<\/em> helpful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    \u201cI can fall asleep okay, but I wake up in the middle of the night\u2026 at least once. And when I do, it takes me forever to fall back asleep; that is, if I can.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Is this you? It certainly describes my sleep patterns<\/s> disturbances over the years.<\/p>\n\n\n

    \n
    \"NEVER
    FREE Download<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

    Like many military veterans and first responders, I’ve had my share of troubled sleep. Sometimes I knew why (conflicts or anxieties about work, family, or money)\u2026 other times, I didn\u2019t have a clue. I know I\u2019m not the only one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    For NEVER FORGET<\/a><\/em><\/strong>, I researched many issues us veterans experience, including PTSD<\/strong> (or \u201cshell-shock\u201d as it was known in World War II; \u201csoldier\u2019s heart\u201d in WWI), dementia, and Alzheimer\u2019s\u2014just a few of the storylines. During this research & writing process, I learned new things about myself as well as several new techniques I\u2019d used over the years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Like anything else in this journey called life, sometimes these tools work, sometimes they don\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Westpac \u201975\u2014Hawaii Sun<\/a><\/strong> (Physical)<\/em><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

    There was that time in the Navy when USS Kitty Hawk <\/em><\/strong>(CV-63) stopped for a few days in Hawaii. It was during Westpac \u201975<\/strong> on the way to our overseas deployment. Since I was from Florida, the beach was my second home. So, without delay, I headed to Waikiki to get a few rays. I rented a surfboard, asked a young lady to teach me to surf (that line usually<\/em> worked for a drink or two), and with her help, I learned to surf. <\/p>\n\n\n

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    \"\"<\/a>
    Maui, Hawaii (2014)
    Photo credit: Andy Adkins
    (Click to enlarge)<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

    Unfortunately, this was in May, the sun was high and hot\u2026 blistering hot, so to speak. A few days later on the way to the Philippines, my back began to first itch, then peel… literally in sheets. Talk about not <\/em>being able to get comfortable and sleep in my rack. Even though I\u2019d grown up in Florida and never<\/em> used suntan lotion, this was the worst<\/em> sunburn I\u2019d ever experienced. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    But one thing I learned during those few days. I learned to \u201cbreathe\u201d my way through those \u201cbouts\u201d of uncomfortableness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Focused breathing, inhale and slowly counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, & 8, and then exhale while slowly counting backwards. Do that repeatedly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Several of my Army & Marine veteran friends have mentioned that\u2019s a similar approach they used to control their anxieties and heart rate, especially when on patrol or before a battle. It\u2019s one of the tools I continue to use today. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Though, I’ll admit. I don\u2019t venture out to the beach as often, nor do I stay in the sun as long. You know… retirement age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Westpac \u201975\u2014The Helo \u201cEvent\u201d<\/strong> (Mental)<\/em><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

    There was that time in the Navy that I experienced\u2014close up\u2014the death of a shipmate. I\u2019ve written about that in the past in a blog titled, “Gone in an Instant<\/a><\/strong>.” But being that close (blood and brains on my flight deck pants), loading his lifeless body onto a Stokes stretcher, and helping haul it down to sickbay\u2026 well, it\u2019s one of those core memories that gets laser etched into your brain. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Yeah, something I\u2019ll never forget.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I don\u2019t have nightmares about that <\/em>particular event\u2014not anymore. But there were other events equally disturbing I experienced as a city firefighter. I\u2019ll spare you the details\u2014they\u2019re mine to bear. I don\u2019t know why they set in when they do, but as time passes, the dreams<\/s> nightmares occur less often.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Life as a CIO<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

    There were those times as a large law firm CIO (Chief Information Officer), when I had an important meeting the following day. I always tried to prepare beforehand and anticipate questions. Maybe it\u2019s that I put too much time into the preparation\u2026 maybe it\u2019s the fact that I didn\u2019t like a particular attorney I had to meet with\u2026 could be any number of other things that caused that anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    But I\u2019d wake up in the middle of the night. After an hour or so of tossing and turning, I finally gave in and just got out of bed and did something to keep my mind busy. I\u2019d read, I\u2019d do a puzzle, but I learned not<\/em> to watch TV. I just needed to do something to get my mind off whatever it was hanging onto.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I often called that the \u201cmuddy mind<\/strong>.\u201d You know\u2026 your mind starts wandering or worrying about something\u2026 it jumps from one thing to another to another\u2026 \u201cI can\u2019t turn my brain off<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Yeah, that one!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    It Got Easier<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

    Now that I\u2019m retired, I don\u2019t have that problem as much. I always said I loved my job(s), but I\u2019d love them even more if I didn\u2019t have to deal with people. Funny thing, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    But at my age (68), even though I feel I\u2019m in decent health & eat fairly well, most nights I still wake up somewhere between 0200 and 0300. Thankfully, I can usually fall back to sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    First of all, it took me almost 60 years to realize it\u2019s normal to wake up a few times a night. From what I\u2019ve read, most adults need between seven and eight hours of sleep to be fully rested and it\u2019s normal to cycle out of sleep roughly every 90 minutes to two hours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I kinda knew that, but reading it now makes more sense than studying about those old REM (Rapid Eye Movement) cycles we learned back in high school biology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Here\u2019s What Doesn\u2019t<\/em> Work for Me<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

    Alcohol<\/strong> \u2013 Yes, I\u2019m a former sailor\u2014a Navy veteran<\/strong>\u2014and I\u2019ve certainly had my share of drinking. I can honestly say, though, that my drinking habits changed dramatically after <\/em>I left the Navy, completed college with two degrees, got a job, had kids, and raised a family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    As I\u2019ve gotten older (i.e., \u201cseasoned\u201d), I know for sure I drink less now than before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Yeah\u2026 a sailor giving advice about drinking makes about as much sense as a screen door on a submarine.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    However, when I visit my doctor, one of the questions he asks is, \u201cDo you have more than five (5) drinks a night?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Seriously?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Well, at first, I thought, \u201cSweet! Now I know my upper limit, prescribed by my doctor. I like this guy!\u201d<\/em> I never<\/s> rarely drink that much. But the next year at my checkup, I asked\u2026 \u201cDoes that mean it\u2019s okay to have five drinks a night?<\/em>\u201d To which he replied, \u201cNo, that\u2019s not<\/strong> what I said<\/em>.\u201d He further explained, \u201cIf you\u2019d answered \u2018yes,\u2019 then we\u2019d have a different conversation.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    He\u2019s since changed the way he asks that particular question. Nonetheless, he did explain that alcohol was a stimulant and when you drink at night (like a nightcap), even though I can easily fall asleep, I usually wake up between two and three in the morning. And, as he also mentioned, too much alcohol could enhance your dreams\u2026 the wrong ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    So\u2026 that answered that<\/em> question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Checking email and Facebook and news<\/strong> and\u2026 you name it. This should go without saying, but if you wake up with a lot of \u201ccrap\u201d on your mind, checking email and Facebook won\u2019t necessarily relieve you of those thoughts rumbling around in your head. Instead, it may make things worse by introducing more crap<\/s> anxieties for you to worry about.<\/p>\n\n\n

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    \"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

    In fact\u2014and, I just read this\u2014light exposure in the middle of the night sends a \u201csunlight\u201d signal to your biological clock, which is also highly sensitive in the middle of the night. And that light (actually, any light, including the bathroom light) has a potent effect if your eyes are already dark-adapted, like they are when you\u2019re asleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Is that why the Navy uses red lights at night for all outside facing hatches?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    In case you wanted to know\u2014you know you do<\/em>\u2014there\u2019s a hormone called \u201cmelatonin.\u201d It\u2019s got something to do with your timing of sleep. Technically speaking, it\u2019s produced by the body to regulate when you get sleepy and when you wake up. You want to preserve the production of melatonin, which is something that responds to light in the middle of the night, causing your body to think it\u2019s daylight and time to get up. Even if it\u2019s zero-dark-thirty.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And, there are even foods that help with the melatonin, including eggs, fish, meat, milk, nuts, germinated legumes & seeds, and mushrooms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    You know, those <\/em>foods that currently cost more than a Harvard Law degree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Here\u2019s What Works for Me<\/strong><\/h4>\n\n\n\n

    Find Your Happy Place<\/strong> – Years ago, when someone suggested I \u201cfind my happy place,\u201d I tended to side with the \u201canywhere but here\u201d crowd. But as I\u2019ve grown older, I\u2019ve learned that the happy place is usually somewhere outside in nature where it\u2019s quiet, or I\u2019m with my family and friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    In my early years, my family owned a lake house on Kingsley Lake<\/strong>, just outside of Starke, Florida. My grandfather built it in the 1930s and it was passed down. I can\u2019t tell you how many happy summers I spent out there, learning to water ski, swimming and snorkeling in crystal clear water, and just being a kid. That\u2019s one of my \u201chappy places\u201d I visit when I have trouble sleeping.<\/p>\n\n\n

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    \"\"<\/a>
    Tri-colored Heron
    Photo credit: Andy Adkins
    (Click to enlarge)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

    Not far from our house are several nature areas, Paynes Prairie<\/strong> and San Felasco<\/strong> are two such areas. Lots of trails to walk. I\u2019m a bird fan and also an amateur nature photographer. Put those together with a quiet morning walk and voila, another \u201chappy place.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    When I lie awake at night, I\u2019ll often think through the drive to get there, parking the car, walking past the gate, and then down a particular trail or two. I\u2019m usually asleep by the time I get to the first trail. It sounds so simple, but for me, it works.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Diet \/ Exercise<\/strong> – I know men (and women) who are heavier than me and don\u2019t exercise one bit. The thing is, while IMO they may be out of shape, many of them don\u2019t have any <\/em>problems with sleep. I don\u2019t know what it is, but whatever they\u2019re doing for sleep, it\u2019s working for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    However, for me, I\u2019m at that point where I can\u2019t sit still for too long\u2026 well, except when I\u2019m writing and the \u201cmuse\u201d hits me. I may be at the keyboard for several hours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    But I still find ways to get out of the house. My wife and I attend Yoga twice a week. While my wife also does Zumba, I can\u2019t; it\u2019ll kick my ass. But Becky, no problem for her\u2014three times a week. Instead, I ride my bike. Sometimes it\u2019s a short 10-miler, other times, I\u2019m at 25-30 miles. It\u2019s one of those activities that my body feels it if I don\u2019t<\/em> Yoga or bike.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Besides, it helps me \u201cwork shit out,\u201d so to speak. Whether I\u2019m worried about my son or my daughter or other family, it helps just to have a little \u201cAndy time.\u201d I\u2019m sure I\u2019m not the only one who feels that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Talking with a Friend or Loved One<\/strong> – We\u2019ve all got friends, some closer than others. Sometimes, I find it easier to talk with another veteran about certain things than with my wife. She knows me in and out. But I also know (and understand) that when I launch into a \u201chere\u2019s what we used to do on the flight deck<\/em>\u201d story, she politely listens and periodically nods her head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    But there are also those things that only veterans can share.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Fortunately, I\u2019ve never shot anyone (intentionally, anyway), nor have I been under an artillery barrage. I don\u2019t know what that feels like\u2014nor do I want to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    While Hollywood can sometimes glorify death, it\u2019s not <\/em>personal. And those are things you cannot forget and cannot drink away. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    There are those times, however, when talking with another veteran, it may bring something to your conscious that had been buried or not fully understood. Until we bring unconscious material to the light, we can\u2019t heal from the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Talking with another friend or veteran who\u2019s literally \u201cbeen there and done that\u2026\u201d well, needless to say, it helps get it out of your system, if for only a short while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Journaling <\/strong>– I\u2019m sure most everyone has heard of \u201cjournaling\u201d before, or writing your thoughts down on paper or computer. I\u2019m an author (or at least, attempting to be) and I journal<\/s> write all the time. When I\u2019m working on a book\u2014as I am now\u2014my mind drifts in and out of the characters, the plot, the twists, etc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And when I\u2019ve spent a good deal of time during the day either writing or outlining, just because I go to bed doesn\u2019t mean my mind shuts down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I can\u2019t tell you how many times I\u2019ve woken up at 2 or 2:30 a.m. with a new scene or dialogue in my mind. Then the tug-of-war begins:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cI\u2019ll remember it in the morning.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cNo, you won\u2019t. Get your ass out of bed and write it down.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I can honestly tell you that those times when I don\u2019t<\/em> write it down, I beat myself up, trying to remember what a great scene that was. I can also tell you I have dozens of pages with handwritten notes, some more legible than others (I quickly learned to put my glasses on), with great ideas, usually written at zero-dark-thirty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    The mind doesn\u2019t shut down just because I go to sleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    One other thing about journaling\u2026 when you write something down, you \u201cget it out of your head,\u201d at least for the time being. And I can often \u201cbend\u201d the story. For a few events that have happened in the past that I\u2019d rather forget, but find that I can\u2019t, I\u2019ve learned to rewrite the event with a better<\/s> happier ending. Basically, it helps me avoid that \u201cI\u2019m afraid I\u2019ll forget\u201d anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    Disclaimer:<\/strong> I am not<\/em> a psychiatrist, a psychologist, or\u2026 a psycho. I\u2019m just a normal guy, a United States Navy<\/strong> (\u201973-77) veteran and a former City of Gainesville (Florida) <\/strong>firefighter (’77-80). Like many veterans and first responders, sometimes events from the past resurface in the form of dreams. Sometimes they\u2019re triggered by a particular sensation: a smell, a sound, a sight, even a song. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    In the past, I\u2019ve had problems with sleep. I don\u2019t pretend to know the answers, just what works for me\u2026 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I don\u2019t know if this blog post helps anyone who reads it. But I know it helps me just to write it\u2026 journal it\u2026 or whatever you want to call it. Now that I\u2019ve got it down on paper, I can put it out of my mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Until we meet again,
    Andy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n\n\n\n

    Answers<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

      \n
    1. Anonymous.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    2. Bosch<\/em><\/strong>, Harry Bosch <\/em>(Titus Welliver).<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    3. \u201cIn Dreams\u201d – Roy Orbison
      \u201cDream On\u201d – Aerosmith
      \u201cA Head Full of Dreams\u201d – Coldplay
      \u201cYou Make My Dreams Come True\u201d – Hall & Oates
      \u201cSweet Dreams\u201d – Patsy Cline<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

      Previous blogs mentioned in this post:<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n