{"id":6619,"date":"2023-03-24T16:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-03-24T20:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/azadkinsiii.com\/blog\/?p=6619"},"modified":"2023-03-22T09:16:09","modified_gmt":"2023-03-22T13:16:09","slug":"navy-friday-funny-how-to-simulate-the-life-of-a-sailor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/azadkinsiii.com\/blog\/navy-friday-funny-how-to-simulate-the-life-of-a-sailor\/","title":{"rendered":"Navy Friday Funny &#8211; How to Simulate the Life of a Sailor"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"800\" height=\"160\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/azadkinsiii.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/NFF_Logo_v2.jpg?resize=800%2C160&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Navy Friday Funny Logo v2\" class=\"wp-image-3816\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/azadkinsiii.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/NFF_Logo_v2.jpg?w=800&amp;ssl=1 800w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/azadkinsiii.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/NFF_Logo_v2.jpg?resize=300%2C60&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/azadkinsiii.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/NFF_Logo_v2.jpg?resize=768%2C154&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So&#8230; you wanted to know what it&#8217;s like being a sailor, living aboard a small floating city, and generally what it&#8217;s like being at sea for months at a time. Well, here are a <em>few <\/em>(oh yeah, there are plenty more) suggestions, just in case you really wanted to try it. Enjoy!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Buy a steel dumpster, paint it haze-gray inside and out, and live in it for six months.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Run all the pipes and wires in your house exposed on the walls.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Repaint your entire house every month. Color Choices: Haze Grey or Dark Grey.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Renovate your bathroom (and henceforth always refer to it as the &#8220;head&#8221;). Build a wall across the middle of the bathtub (shower-stall) and move the showerhead to chest level. When you take a shower, make sure you turn off the water while you soap down. (Wet down, turn off water, soap down, Turn on water rinse down! &#8220;Navy Shower&#8221;) (&#8220;Hollywood Showers&#8221; are showers that last more than one (1) minute).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Raise the thresholds and lower the headers of your front and back doors by at least one foot, so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass through them.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Disassemble and inspect your lawnmower&#8230; every week.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, turn your water heater temperature up to 200 degrees. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, turn the water heater off. On Saturdays and Sundays tell your family they use too much water during the week, so no bathing will be allowed. (And to simulate the Navy&#8230; call it &#8220;water hours&#8221;).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling, so you can&#8217;t turn over without getting out and then getting back in. Put all your clothes under your mattress to press them!<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Have your spouse whip open the curtain about three (3) hours after you go to sleep, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and say &#8220;Sorry, wrong rack.&#8221;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Make your family qualify to operate each appliance in your house: dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc. (call it &#8220;PQS Qualifications&#8221;).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Have your neighbor come over each day at 6 am, blow a whistle loudly, and shout &#8220;Reveille, reveille, all hands heave out and trice up.&#8221;<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Have your mother-in-law write down everything she&#8217;s going to do the following day, then have her make you stand in your back yard at 6 am while she reads it to you. (Just for grins, call it &#8220;Morning Muster Call&#8221;).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Submit a request chit to your father-in-law requesting permission to leave your house before 3 pm. (call it &#8220;Early-Liberty&#8221;).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There will be more&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-cyan-bluish-gray-background-color has-text-color has-background wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"color:#000030\"><strong>Andy Adkins<\/strong>\u00a0is a US Navy veteran (\u201973-77) and the author of several books, including\u00a0<strong><em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.azadkinsiii.com\/book_closer.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">You Can\u2019t Get Much Closer Than This-Combat with the 80th \u201cBlue Ridge\u201d Division in World War II Europe<\/a><\/em><\/strong>, published by Casemate Publishers (2005) and selected as the Book of the Month for the Military Book Club. His newest novel,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/azadkinsiii.com\/book_never.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong><em>NEVER FORGET<\/em><\/strong><\/a>, is the story of\u00a0<em>A Vietnam Veteran\u2019s Journey for Redemption &amp; Forgiveness<\/em>;\u00a0<strong>NEVER FORGET<\/strong>\u00a0is offered as a FREE (PDF, eBook format) download. Adkins also writes a weekly blog,\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/azadkinsiii.com\/blog\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">\u201cA Veteran\u2019s Journey.\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So&#8230; you wanted to know what it&#8217;s like being a sailor, living aboard a small floating city, and generally what it&#8217;s like being at sea for months at a time. Well, here are a few (oh yeah, there are plenty&#8230; <a href=\"https:\/\/azadkinsiii.com\/blog\/navy-friday-funny-how-to-simulate-the-life-of-a-sailor\/\" class=\"readmore\">Read more<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Navy Friday Funny &#8211; How to Simulate the Life of a Sailor<\/span><span class=\"fa fa-angle-double-right\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[62,59],"tags":[316,207],"class_list":["post-6619","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-navy","tag-a-veterans-journey-2","tag-navy-friday-funny","content-layout-excerpt-thumb"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Navy Friday Funny - How to Simulate the Life of a Sailor &#8212; A Veteran&#039;s Journey<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Want to know what it&#039;s like living aboard a ship... for months at a time... while at sea... working 16-18 hour days?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/azadkinsiii.com\/blog\/navy-friday-funny-how-to-simulate-the-life-of-a-sailor\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Navy Friday Funny - How to Simulate the Life of a Sailor &#8212; A Veteran&#039;s Journey\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Want to know what it&#039;s like living aboard a ship... for months at a time... while at sea... working 16-18 hour days?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/azadkinsiii.com\/blog\/navy-friday-funny-how-to-simulate-the-life-of-a-sailor\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"A Veteran&#039;s Journey\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/andyadkinsiii\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/andyadkinsiii\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-03-24T20:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/azadkinsiii.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/NFF_Logo_v2.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Andy Adkins\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@azadkinsiii\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@azadkinsiii\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Andy Adkins\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/azadkinsiii.com\\\/blog\\\/navy-friday-funny-how-to-simulate-the-life-of-a-sailor\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/azadkinsiii.com\\\/blog\\\/navy-friday-funny-how-to-simulate-the-life-of-a-sailor\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Andy Adkins\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/azadkinsiii.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/3cbf38c3ae372859df51574b46563a4a\"},\"headline\":\"Navy Friday Funny &#8211; 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