Trivia Questions (Answers @ end)
- Who said, “Don’t take criticism from people you would never go to for advice.”?
- In what movie (and who said it) did we hear, “I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”?
- In what song (and who sang it) did we hear:
Ev’rybody’s talking ’bout
Bagism, Shagism, Dragism, Madism, Ragism, Tagism
This-ism, that-ism, is-m, is-m, is-m
Blog #123 – I Thought I’d Heard Everything, Part 3
Thank You!
Thanks to those who commented on my previous blog, #122—“Three-two…” and other Navy “Numbers” I Will Never Forget. Several comments were spot on and reminded me of things I’d forgotten. Here’s a few more shared “memories:”
- “Hell, in the 60s we had to hide beer in our fridge with a padlock. Always told the DO that we lost the key. Most of the time they would smile and about face.”
- “In 1979, I reported to NAS Miramar; I was 19 years old. I grew up in Massachusetts and was allowed to drink from age 18 back then. When I got to CA and was told I had to wait until I was 21, I was happy for the beer machines!”
- “Iceland, 1971: beer was 25 cents in the machines. A rumor I heard was that a 5 Ore piece from Denmark fit perfect for a quarter. A 5 Ore piece was worth less than a nickel at that time.”
- “I remember the transient barracks in Subic Bay having a beer machine in 1972. Pretty weird for a 17-year-old from Iowa.”
- “While in San Diego at my “C” school, I had to stay in the barracks at NAS North Island. I thought the beer machine was the coolest thing. Put in $.35 and out came a beer. Perfect!!”
- “On Midway Island, they always asked why the soda machine was never empty.”
- “Off the table, Mabel… the quarter’s for the beer.”
Trying to Slow Down
Several years ago, I had recently “retired” (again), trying to slow down.
Life was going by too quickly and I traveled a bit—okay… I traveled a lot.
Sometimes I’d be on the road four, five, six times a month to different clients and cities. Such was the life (a good life, mind you) of a consultant. I’d been all over the country, visited all 50 states and a few other countries, took an extra day here or there to “explore” the area & highlights, and periodically, my wife and kids would join me for an extended stay/vacation.
But the life on the road was getting to me.
Don’t get me wrong; I loved what I did. I was a Legal Technology Consultant, had my own business, and recently “retired” from the Legal Technology Institute at the University of Florida Levin College of Law; I established LTI at UFLaw in 1997. Prior to that, I was one of three independent consultants working with the legal profession in the state of Florida.
This was back when computers first appeared on lawyers’ desks, WordPerfect was the dominant word processor, Hewlett Packard was the dominant desktop printer, and Novell was the dominant local area network. Wireless, as we know it, didn’t exist. Neither did cell phones.
Yeah… I’m that old. But you know what… I got into this “new” industry early on.
Business Travel Woes
I won’t tell you about the time I showed up early one morning at the local Gainesville airport… a day earlier than my planned flight for a new client.
Yes, it was a zero-dark-thirty flight, pre-9/11. Back then, you could show up at the gate 10 minutes before departure with your carry on and… wait for it… “walk right in, sit right own… baby let your hair hang down”.
Anyone know that song?
I also won’t reveal to you the time I returned to my hotel from dinner in downtown Chicago late one night… “partying with clients.”
I went up to my room, only to find out my room key didn’t work. I tried every which way but loose, but it just wouldn’t open.
This was one of those credit card key locks that “sometimes” lost their magnetic info.
I rode the elevator back down to the lobby and after explaining my predicament “nicely,” asked the front desk clerk if she could “kindly” provide give me a new room key.
When I handed her my key to exchange, she politely (and professionally) informed me, “Mr. Adkins… this hotel is the Hyatt Regency, not the Hilton.”
I’d been trying to open my room with the key from my previous trip where I’d stayed at a Hilton. I guess I did party a bit that night.
Once again, this “confident” United States Navy veteran and world traveler was—in a word—humbled.
Yeah, I was tired of being on the road.
Law Firm Chief Information Officer
After a few months of purposefully slowing down and not traveling as much, I received an unexpected call from a former client. Actually, he’d hired me as a consultant for two different law firms where he’d previously worked.
He was a former Navy pilot and over the years, we’d shared many of the same stories. We weren’t aboard Kitty Hawk at the same time, but he did share he had several “touch & goes on runway 63” during his 24-year Naval career.
He simply asked if I was interested in coming to work for him (again).
But this time, instead of as a technology consultant, the West Virginia based firm wanted to hire me as their Chief Information Officer.
Let Me Pause Here a Moment to Reflect
As a law firm technology consultant, I’d worked with over 300 law firms around the US, and a few other countries, like Canada, Puerto Rico, and Miami (that’s a joke, BTW).
Now and then, the law firm’s executive director or managing partner would ask if I had any interest in working for them as their CIO, CTO (Chief Technology Director), or IT Director.
I always politely declined. I liked my current gig.
Keep in mind, these firms were located in some great cities: Chicago, New York, Orlando, Milwaukee, and Charlotte, to name a few.
Imagine the dinner conversation I had with my wife, Becky, that night when I asked, “Do you want to move to West Virginia for a few years? The firm offered me a position as their CIO.”
Long story short, I accepted the position, and we moved to West Virginia in 2011.
The law firm was growing quickly and steadily. When I first arrived, the firm had 220 attorneys, about 650 total users, and 10 offices in 4 states. When I left four years later (2015), the firm was up to 330 attorneys, about 1,000 users, and 15 offices in 6 states. Quick growth and a phenomenal experience for me.
We truly loved our time in West Virginia. Besides a great law firm and an awesome IT department, West Virginia is a beautiful state. We spent many days & weekends exploring the magnificent state parks & state forests. That’s also when we began trail riding on our bikes.
I’d always wanted to experience the four seasons. You know… instead of the two seasons Florida has: green and brown.
How to “Properly” Clean an iPhone Screen
During my tenure as the firm’s CIO, we switched the law firm from Blackberries to iPhones. The process went smoothly—great folks in the IT department and we’d asked several tech-savvy users in each of the offices to help, which they were happy to accommodate.
(Click to Enlarge)
I often traveled to each office, trying to visit each one at least once or twice a year (even the ones in Texas and Colorado). Several weeks after the iPhone rollout, I found myself in one of the firm’s other West Virginia offices.
After I’d completed an early morning round of meetings with attorneys and staff in the Huntington office, I stepped into the elevator (the firm was on the 10th floor), accompanied by five legal assistants.
Why we all piled onto the elevator at the same time, I honestly can’t remember, except that perhaps it was lunch time.
One of the legal assistants had her new iPhone out and showing photos of her new baby—she’d just returned to work after six weeks’ maternity leave. All the ladies were oohing and ahhing, as they should be.
She even showed me a few photos—cute kid.
And Then…
Then she asked me a question I’ll never forget…
“What should I use to clean the screen of my iPhone?”
Then I asked her a question I’ll never forget, nor will I ever ask again.
“What did you spill on the screen?” I asked with my empathetic and confident, “I can answer your question,” voice.
Just when you thought you’d heard everything—both in the Navy and in civilian life…
“Breast milk.”
Let Me Pause (Again) for a Quick Moment
In my long-time 25-year career as an independent legal technology consultant, I’d probably given 250+ speeches over the years, answered thousands of questions in front of hundreds of conference attendees, and never once stumbled—the confidence of a Navy veteran.
I mean, I spent four years in the Navy as an aircraft crash firefighter, much of which was spent on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier. One of my proudest mantras is, “I used to drive crash fire trucks… on the flight deck… of an aircraft carrier!“
But here… in this elevator… at this particular instant… with five legal secretaries waiting for me to answer this simple question…
I musta turned five shades of red.
Trying to hold my confidence, I didn’t know what else to say except to repeat—in a professional and assuring voice—what Apple states on their iPhone FAQ website… verbatim: “To clean your iPhone, use a soft, slightly damp, lint-free cloth. Avoid getting moisture in openings. Don’t use window cleaners, household cleaners, compressed air, aerosol sprays, solvents, ammonia, abrasives, or cleaners containing hydrogen peroxide to clean your iPhone.”
I mean, what else could I say?
When the elevator stopped on the ground floor, normally I’d allow the ladies to exit first. You know… like a true southern gentleman.
This time… it was like I was first in line at the USS Kitty Hawk after brow, docked in Subic Bay after a three-week at sea period.
Until we meet again,
Andy Adkins
Answers
- Anonymous.
- Van Wilder (2002), Van Wilder (Ryan Reynolds).
- Give Peace a Chance (1969), John Lennon; written by John Lennon.
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