A Veteran's Journey

Trivia Questions (Answers @ end)

1. Who said, “In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.”?
2. Who said (and what movie), “When you’re in the Navy and you’re in transit, nobody knows where the hell you are.”?
3. In what song (and who sang it) did we hear the following?
   Well, the note said, “Mrs. Johnson
   You’re wearin’ your dresses way too high
   It’s reported you’ve been drinking
   And a-running ’round with men and goin’ wild
   And we don’t believe you oughta be a-bringin’ up
   Your little girl this way”

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Memorial Day was only a few days ago.

A day of remembering those who didn’t make it back. I took some time to myself, thought of those I served with who didn’t come back and thought of those I didn’t know who didn’t come back. There were several Facebook Navy Groups & Pages that also remembered those shipmates. I’ll be honest, reading through some of those who experienced the same “incident(s)” as I dredged up memories I’d rather forget. But I cannot/will not forget these shipmates.

But life moves forward…

I have a USS Kitty Hawk, CV-63 ball cap. It’s my third or fourth—I can’t remember. I often wear it when I’m out and about. I know a lot of us veterans do that. I served aboard Kitty Hawk from March ’75 through the time I left the Navy in July ’77.

Periodically, I’ll spot someone heading my way, wearing a similar style ball cap. It doesn’t matter if it’s Navy, Army, Marines, Air Force, or Coast Guard. I notice it and I’ll acknowledge that fellow veteran’s service with a nod.

Now and then, I’ll spot a ball cap with another carrier and start up a conversation. You know the usual questions:

1. When were you on the carrier?
2. What division?
3. How long were you in?
4. Where ya from?

It’s rare when I see someone with a Kitty Hawk cap, but when I do, it’s “Miller Time.” Just kidding, but we often get into some great conversation. Funny thing is… it doesn’t take too long before our conversation turns to PI (Philippine Islands) and liberty. We all had similar experiences and I’ll spare the details, but those who know… know.

Helping a Fellow Veteran

Last week, on the way back from a 30-mile bike ride, I rode through the parking lot of a resale store. Three guys were trying to load a HEAVY stove into the back of a van. Two were store employees, one of whom looked like he wished he were somewhere else. The van owner wore a US Navy submarine ball cap—USS Seawolf (SSN-21).

Let me pause here for a moment. I used to know all the US Navy carrier hull designations (ALL of them); I don’t have them memorized anymore. However, I know almost absolutely nothing about US Navy submarines.

The only one I’ve been on was the USS Albacore in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, sitting on dry land. I was in Portsmouth years ago for a conference and this was one of the excursions offered. Of course, I went. I realize it’s not the modern Navy, but it gave me an idea of what my 6’4” frame would encounter inside a sub and confirmed my decision in 1973 to be an airdale and work outside on the flight deck.

Anyway, I stopped  and got off my bike, offering to help load the stove into the van. I think most anyone would’ve done that anyway. Unfortunately, he had to be somewhere, and we didn’t get a chance to chat after loading up. Since I was wearing my bike helmet (no Kitty Hawk designation, though I might have to fix that), I let him know I was also Navy (’73-77).

Veterans are NOT Strangers

Last week after my wife & I went for a walk (inside the cool, air-conditioned mall; it was 95 degrees outside), we stopped for ice cream. BTW, it’s about 1½ miles around the inside of the mall, if you also walk through the big department stores.

There was another gentleman and his pre-teen grandson eating ice cream, too. I was wearing my Kitty Hawk ball cap. A few minutes after we sat down, they finished and got up ready to leave. He stopped at our table and asked the years I was aboard Kitty Hawk. We talked for a while—he was former Army (Armored), stationed in Germany. He was a few years younger than we were.

The thing that impressed me was that while we were eating ice cream, he had pulled out his phone and Googled “Kitty Hawk” before talking with us. I’m not sure why, but it made for some great conversation with another veteran… even though he was Army.

We all joke about the different branches in the military. And the Internet certainly has its share of military memes and jokes. But when it comes down to it, we’re all veterans, and we all served in one capacity or another.

The military ball cap can be an intro or a conversation starter.

Priorities at This Age

It got me to thinking about an old analogy I used to teach my second- and third-year law students at the University of Florida College of Law (I was an adjunct professor and co-taught, “Law Practice Management” for 8 years). This was a popular class at UFLaw, usually capped at 50 students. Our goal was to teach law students how to manage their law practice, whether they’d be a solo practitioner, work for a large law firm or a corporate law department, or a government agency. There were basic tools and skills they needed to know. On top of that, it was important for them to understand that being a lawyer would also stress their lives and their families.

It’s not my analogy, but I first read about this from Steven Covey, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” I had picked it up when I began my legal technology consulting career back in the early ‘90s.

During the Balance of Life class (we taught this toward the end of the semester), I brought a glass bowl and placed it on the table. I began the lecture by asking the students what they thought they’d be doing when practicing law.

Several smarties stated “making money.” Of course, that’s one thing. Back then, many lawyers billed by the hour, so it was important to track time throughout the day.

I described a typical day of what they may expect. A lawyer may have, on average, say, 30-50 active clients, all wanting something by a certain time. That means the lawyer typically works on multiple projects throughout the day, including many (MANY) interruptions, either by phone, by email, by staff, or by other attorneys. Everything seemed to be important at THAT time of the interruption. In some of the larger firms, young lawyers are expected to bill 8-10 hours a day (that’s BILL; they quickly learn they need to put in many more hours during a normal work day).

As we went through the scenario, I’d drop a small pebble into the glass jar for each of those examples. It wasn’t too long before the glass jar was almost full with small pebbles.

Then I asked the students what they thought were the important things in their lives. After the first few “graduating from law school” and “getting a job” comments, they got serious.

“Your health,” one student called out. “Bingo,” I said. “What else?”

“Your family,” another student called out. “Bingo again.” This class had promise.

Several others blurted out other things, including friends, careers, happiness, finance, faith… One law student who’d served with the Marines called out, “a sense of purpose.”

I then pulled out several large rocks and explained that these large rocks represent those important things in their lives… the things we just discussed.

I put them into the glass jar, but guess what? There wasn’t enough room in the jar to hold the large rocks… the important things in life.

I pulled out the big rocks and placed them to the side. I then poured out all the constant “interruptions,” that is, the smaller pebbles.

I then put the big rocks in first, followed by the smaller pebbles. Guess what? They all fit inside the glass bowl. I then pulled out a small cup of sand and poured that in with still room for more.

When I was done, I asked the class, “What am I demonstrating here?”

One smart-ass 2L spoke up. “The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, you can always fit more things into it.”

“No! Wrong answer.”

The Marine spoke up, loud and clear. “The point is that if you don’t put the big rocks in first (that is, take care of the important things in your life), you’ll never get to all the smaller, less important things into your life.

I’ve also heard (that means I read it somewhere on the internet) that people tend to run into three problems when they think about their priorities:

1. They have too many priorities.
2. They do not or cannot differentiate the truly important priorities.
3. For any number of reasons, they let other less important things get in the way of focusing on what really matters.

Someone smarter than me (maybe Air Bos’n CWO2 Ty Roebuck) once told me, “Chet, if you have eight priorities, you have no priorities.” I didn’t get it at the time. But it didn’t take me long to figure it out.

At this stage in my life (I’m nearing 70), the things that are important haven’t really changed, the priorities haven’t changed, either.

What’s changed is that I no longer worry about crap I have no control over.

Love life, be kind, and try to help out when I can.

Until we meet again,
Andy

Answers

Andy Adkins is a US Navy veteran (’73-77) and the author of several books, including Three Years, Eleven Months, & 29 Days, But Who’s Counting. His newest novel, NEVER FORGET, is the story of A Vietnam Veteran’s Journey for Redemption & Forgiveness; NEVER FORGET is offered as a FREE (PDF, eBook format) download. Adkins also writes a weekly blog, “A Veteran’s Journey.”

1. José Narosky.
2. The Last Detail (1973), Mulhall (Otis Young).
3. Harper Valley P.T.A. (1968), Jeannie C. Riley; written by Tom T. Hall.

Previous blogs mentioned in this post:

• #168—Memorial Day 2024: What it Means to THIS Veteran
• #25—”Livin’ the Dream:” Life Aboard an Aircraft Carrier
• #20—Port Call: Philippines