A Veteran's Journey

Trivia Questions (Answers @ end)

1. Who said, “Some people seem to fade away but then when they are truly gone, it’s like they didn’t fade away at all.”?
2. What movie star said, “First you are young; then you are middle-aged; then you are old; then you are wonderful.”?
3. In what song (and who sang it) did we hear the following?
   When I get older, losing my hair, many years from now
   Will you still be sending me a valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
   If I’d been out ’til quarter to three, would you lock the door?
   Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I’m sixty-four?

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The Medicare Journey

I thought about naming this post “The Medicare Journey,” but I decided to go a different route. Yes, I’m retired, I’m drawing social security, I’ve got some savings, and my wife & I decided to wait until we turned 70 to apply for Medicare.

What a journey that was…

But fortunately, we had a friend who is a “SHINE” volunteer (Serving Health Insurance Needs of Elders) who helped guide us through the mountainous pile of “stuff” to get signed up. Thanks, David!

But this blog is not about the Medicare journey. This is about those other “gotchas” that come with older age. I like to use the term “seasoned.”

The “Old Age” Gotchas

I spent Three Years, Eleven Months, & 29 Days in the U.S. Navy (But who’s counting?). Most of that was on the flight deck of USS Kitty Hawk (CV-63). I worked in Crash & Salvage (V-1 Division) during Westpac ’75, then transferred to a Yellow Shirt director after a year in the Bremerton Shipyards.

When you work on the flight deck during flight operations, the noise is loud, to say the least. Standing twenty feet away from an A-6 Intruder on the catapult during launch will rattle your bones. Standing behind the Jet Blast Deflector while an F-14 is in full-afterburner will not only rattle the bones, but the heat coming over the JBD is almost unbearable.

When you enlist in the Navy, you are given a hearing test. You remember those … you’re in a glass cage with a set of old-timey earphones. When you hear something (a high-frequency pitch), you raise your hand to let the audiologist know you heard it. Then s/he changes the frequency and slowly increases the volume. And so on and so forth. Yeah … that test.

Back then, I could hear a rabbit fart from fifty paces.

Now … years after my time in the Navy, when my wife asks me a question from another room, I say, “What!?”

How Many of You Have …

• Walked into a room, got distracted for a second, then forgot why you went into the room in the first place? You return to your chair and pick up your book only to remember you went into the room to get your glasses.
• Asked your spouse to ring your phone because you can’t remember where you put it? I’ll admit once … I asked Becky to call my number. Then I felt a vibration in my cargo pants pocket. (See 11:10 below).
• Walked out of church (or a store), heading to your usual parking spot, only to realize when you got there you remembered you parked in the other lot because it was closer to where you needed to go first?
• Forgot a particular word, struggled to remember it, only to “substitute” another one? One night I was sauteing some fish and I couldn’t remember the word capers. I mentally searched through the entire alphabet, but it wouldn’t come. So I asked Becky, “Do we have any of those little green salty peas?” Yeah … I still use that line.

I could go on and on … feel free to drop a comment below.

What Time is It? “11:10”

This one’s funny. When I turned 65 a few years ago (“Medicare age”), my doctor told me during my regular annual checkup that there were new “protocols” to follow.

I’m sure many of you have experienced something similar. Now, we check for memory issues.

So, the doctor pulls out a blank sheet of paper and draws a circle (amazingly accurate, I might add). He tells me to label a clock with numbers, then draw the hour/minute hand to point to a time of 11:10.

The first time I asked, “Would you like military time and is it morning or afternoon?”

No response. He didn’t even crack a smile. “This guy’s heard it all.”

I proceeded to label the 12 numbers, starting with 12 at the top, 6 at the bottom, 9 on the left, 3 on the right, and then fill in the rest. Easy peasy. I grew up with analog watches and clocks, unlike today’s kids with digital mania.

Then I drew a short arrow, the “hour hand,” pointing to the number 11. Easy peasy. I smiled. Then I drew the longer arrow, the “minute hand,” to the 10 and handed it back to him with a smug grin.

He looked at it and asked me what time did I draw? I told him … 11: Oh shit.

For the time to be ten minutes after 11, the minute hand should be pointing to the 2, not the 10.

Well, I flunked that test.

But it’s become a running joke between me, my doctor, and my wife.

Whenever one of us has an “age-snag,” we’ll ask each other, “What time is it? Is it 11:10?”

Yeah, our jokes these days aren’t as funny as they were when we were in our 20s.

Dementia

Life gets real when you get older. Becky has always said it’s statistics, and with me being an engineer, I understand that. Still, sometimes these things are hard to accept, especially when it hits close to home.

I’ve got several friends who are at various stages of dementia. Some are new friends; others I’ve known longer than my wife. It really doesn’t matter. The point is, they are still my friends, even if they don’t recognize me.

I’ll be honest … it’s hard. Becky’s dad had dementia, but it only started showing up when he was in his mid-90s.

I’ve learned a couple of things through these interactions.

One, their “personality” still shines as if I’ve known them over the years. They may not know who I am, but spending time with them, I see a few glimpses of the past, which continuously reminds me that we’re still friends. I’m a “safe person,” as I often call it. And sometimes, that’s all I need.

Two, music is one of the most powerful environs for all ages. I’m often reminded of younger kids dancing to the rhythm of a favorite song, and we’re cheering them on, even though the youngster hasn’t a clue as to the lyrics or type of music. Some of my friends can’t dance (and never could, I joke), but the music still sparks an interest.

Last week, I visited my long-time friend who’s now in a memory unit. He gets around in a wheelchair now because he doesn’t have the strength to stand and walk. When the weather is nice (this IS Florida), we go outside, take a stroll around the small garden area, and just sit, listening to the birds and watching the clouds roll by while the sounds of lawn mowers sometimes drown out our few and far-between conversations.

He’s an Air Force veteran and I’m a Navy veteran. We shared many similar stories over the years. This past week, I started reading one of my blog posts about the Shore Patrol. That lasted about two paragraphs … These Air Force guys … I tell ya.

But he’s a big fan of Bob Dylan (who isn’t) and with Pandora on my phone, I created a Bob Dylan station.

It is truly amazing to me how the mind reacts to music. He closes his eyes but is not sleeping or nodding off—far from it. His hands move rhythmically in perfect time with the beat of Bob Dylan. I told his wife and friends, “We’re chillin’ with Dylan.”

They knew exactly what that meant.

I have several other friends with dementia that are not in a memory unit … yet. Talking with their spouses, I’ve also learned that it’s not only a tough decision, but the big question is “when.” I honestly don’t have an answer, but it is also something Becky and I talk about: if and when.

Parkinson’s

I’ve got a couple of friends with Parkinson’s in various stages. It’s a totally different disease than dementia, but it also affects your lifestyle. You have to make decisions based on what you’re able to do, both physically and mentally.

I only know what I’ve read, but while the mind may still be sharp, the body doesn’t want to always cooperate.

The Go-Go, Slow-Go, No-Go Years

Several years ago when Becky & I were approaching retirement age, we heard the term, “The Go-Go, the Slow-Go, and the No-Go” Years. Neither of us had heard that phrase before, but when you’re planning your retirement, it’s something you ought to figure out in your financial calculations.

The “Go-Go Years” are when you first retire (say, age 65). Some people do a lot of traveling, a lot of socializing, and a lot of visiting. That period of time usually lasts about 10 years or so. Of course, it’s very subjective, depending on your health, finances, and current situation.

After that, you hit the “Slow-Go Years,” where you still travel, but perhaps not as frequently or as far.

Then comes the “No-Go Years,” where you might find yourself in a retirement community, assisted living, or something similar. You simply don’t travel much, primarily because you don’t move as well as you used to, or you need some assistance. It could be any number of situations. Again, all very subjective.

Dare I Ask …

Almost every day, I find myself reading (NOT skimming) an online news article or two about aging or health-related stories. Maybe I’m looking for affirmation that I’m doing the right things.

Of course, I pay attention when I read an article that says coffee, red wine, and chocolate are good for you. And, of course, I ignore articles that say alcohol and steaks are bad for you.

Am I the only one who does that?

I read articles that discuss the benefits of Yoga and strength-resistance, ‘cause those are the things I do. I read articles that discuss the benefits of movement, cause that’s what I do.

“Motion is lotion” is one of my neighbor’s mantras, and that’s something that sticks with me. I try to do something exercise- or health-related every single day.

Winding Down

I don’t mean for this post to be a downer—I just want it to be a reality-check. Especially at my age. We ain’t getting younger, so I keep doing what I can do. One of my personal mantras these days is to “do what I can, for as long as I can, because I can.”

The hardest thing for me … right now … is watching my friends—friends for decades—slowly decline. It’s not that they sat around in their “old age” watching TV and eating bonbons (one of those sayings from our growing-up years). No … these guys and girls were active, always active either with their own kids or their work or having fun.

There is no crystal ball to predict my future. And even if there was, would I really want to know? To be honest, I sometimes struggle with this concept … what if?

I guess in the long run you have to play the cards you’re dealt (another childhood saying), but damn, sometimes it’s tough.

Until we meet again,
Andy

Andy Adkins is a US Navy veteran (’73-77) and the author of several books (www.azadkinsiii.com), many of which are free downloads (PDF, eBook format). He is currently retired and lives in Gainesville, Florida with his wife and life-long soulmate, Becky.

Previous Blogs mentioned in this Post:

• #25—“Livin’ the Dream”: Life Aboard an Aircraft Carrier
• #67—Flight Ops: A Day in the Life of Crash & Salvage
• #185—Westpac ‘75
• #68—Flight Ops: Another Fine Day in the Navy!
• #30—USS Kitty Hawk @ Bremerton Shipyards, Part 1
• #42—The Shipyards, Part 2
• #51—Shore Patrol: It’s Not Just a Job, It’s an Adventure
• #22—The Go-go, Slow-go, No-go Years

Answers

1. Bob Dylan.
2. Diana Cooper (Silent-movie film star; 1893-1986).
3. When I’m Sixty-Four (1967), The Beatles; written by Paul McCartney.