A Veteran's Journey

Trivia Questions (Answers @ end)

1. Who said, “The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.”?
2. In what movie (and who said it) did we hear, “My momma always said, ‘Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.’”?
3. In what song (and who sang it) did we hear the following:
   But there’s one thing I know
   The blues they send to meet me
   Won’t defeat me, it won’t be long
   Till happiness steps up to greet me

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Last week, I wrote about “acquiring” a new language when I first joined the Navy in 1973 (Orlando RTC): “#70—Chit, Bird Farm, Scuttlebutt… What?” Boy, did I receive a ton of comments. Many of you let me know your “favorite” Navy terms & phrases and a few of my Army & Marine friends even added to the “flavor” of the military lingo. That was a fun one to write, especially since I learned a few more terms.  

That got me to thinking about what we used to call in the old days, “The Swear Jar.”

Anybody remember those? You know… you utter a cuss word and if caught, put a quarter in the jar. Or perhaps your Baptist or Methodist upbringing required you to deposit more than a quarter. Regardless, I think most everyone has heard the term, “swear jar” in one form or another.

For the life of me, though, I don’t understand why sailors aren’t gazillionaires.

I swear… the things that we say and some of the language we sometimes use. But then, that’s what makes us sailors and veterans, right? (swear jar term)]-ing “A,” I’m right!

And before I forget, anyone ever hear the phrase, “Swear like a sailor?”

Before the Navy

I think it was junior high school (they call it “middle school” now) when I picked up and began to utter certain one-syllable cuss words—no phrases back then, just the basics. It was “cool” or so I thought.

“The older kids are saying it, dad. Why can’t I?” Whew boy… I only said that once to my dad.

Like most teenagers, I learned several swear words while growing up. Perhaps I started a little later than others, but I don’t remember my mom or dad using anything other than “damn” until I was in high school. That was okay, though, because I’d already learned the “basics” in junior high school.

You remember high school? In terms of cussing, the bar was significantly lowered. Besides cliques and where kids become independent, well let’s just say the language AND the attitude changed dramatically.

Am I the only one here?

Then Came the Navy

This really doesn’t count, does it? I mean, everybody in the military swears, don’t they? Perhaps that’s why there’s always a lot of beer around.

Okay, maybe it does count a little.

But the Navy… well, that’s where I learned not only how to apply the swear word, but how to incorporate certain swear words appropriately that made it look like I was an intellectual: my Navy language taught me meaningful phrases, some of which I continue using today. Anyone else?

You know, SNAFU, FUBAR, IETSU, BTSOOM, and a whole host of (swear jar term) others.

After the Navy – Married with Kids

I left the Navy in 1977 after my four year commitment. I met my sweetheart a couple of years later in a karate class. “She threw me and I fell for her,” is our stock story. Back then, I taught my young wife a few “choice” Navy terms—some of which we still use today.

Despite the new found lingo I shared with her, we married in 1981 and had two kids in 1984 & 1986.

I learned early on you want to be careful what you say around young kids until you realize they won’t understand what you say… or can they? I’m (swear jar term)-ed!

When your kids are babies and tots, you get to use some of the same phrases your own parents used. You know: “Here, pull my finger” type humor. That was fun, but got old fairly quickly, especially when the dog got up and left the room.

But then, when you have grandkids, you get to start that fun all over again. But I digress.

When your own kids hit that magic age where they’re off to school and you finally get a much-needed break, you find they come back home after a day/morning at school. And sometimes—depending on which school, which teacher, and a whole slew of other “socio-economic” dependent factors—they “utter” a word that you or your spouse hadn’t said; at least, around them.

“Where did you hear that?” or “Who told you that?”

Yeah, I’m sure I’m not the only one to have had that type of conversation with my son or daughter. But then, it goes back to that same conversation I had with my own father… who probably had it with his father.

But that’s the magical school age where they pick up and repeat everything, both at home and at school.

Then, one day you get that phone call from school… “Do you know what your child said to me today?”

“No, and I don’t give a rat’s (swear jar term).”

After the Navy

When I was discharged from the Navy after my brief, “Three Years, Eleven Months, & 29 Days—But Who’s Counting,” I began my next short 2½ year career as a firefighter with the City of Gainesville. I also attended the local community college full-time, which worked out well since I worked one day on and two days off.

I wrote about that transition From Sailor to Civilian earlier.

The fire department wasn’t that much different (swear word-wise) than the Navy, though there were more Baptists down here than I realized, hence I quickly learned when & where to use my sailor-speak. Sometimes the remark was spot on and funny. But most of the time… meh! And many times all I got was a “stink eye” glare.

If memory serves, out of the six fire stations in the City of Gainesville at the time I worked there (1977-80), Fire Station #3 had a swear jar. That’s because, IMHO, the Fire Station Captain (the HMFIC of F.S.#3) was a strictly raised Baptist. He was a good guy, though, and a great (swear jar term) firefighter.

When I finally graduated from the University of Florida as an electronics engineer (BSEE ’82), I took my first engineering job in the beautiful state of Washington. I worked for Weyerhaeuser Company in Federal Way (somewhere between Seattle and Tacoma). Great company, and since it was my first job as a graduate in the “white collar work force,” it was also a learning process.

And before you ask, yes, I did visit Bremerton a few times during my year-long stay in Washington before I was transferred to a Weyerhaeuser Company pulp & paper mill in Oklahoma. I musta stepped on somebody’s (swear jar term)-ing toes. The P&P mill was located in the knickerbocker section of metropolitan Valliant, Oklahoma; population: 350.

I learned several things (outside of being an engineer). Hence, the following three lessons:

• #1–Not everyone I worked with was a veteran.
• #2–Not everyone appreciates the “colorful” language.
• #3–Not everyone wanted to learn the lingo.

Hard lessons to learn. But, hey, (swear jar term) ‘em.

It’s Not Just at Home

I recently saw a TV commercial—a beer commercial, of all things. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY0ztZQJ5p4&feature=youtu.be]

The idea is that the more cuss words you use, the more money that goes into the swear jar. In this case, the office workers used it to buy beer. Hence, the beer sponsorship.

Now why didn’t we (in the Navy) think of that? 

It reminds me of the time aboard Kitty Hawk when we’d put our names in a hat for a “special” drawing. If your name was picked, you’d be the lucky one to fly off in one of the supply helos the day before we docked back in our San Diego home port.

“Your mission, should you choose to accept it, was to purchase enough beer and be waiting in the nearby park for the rest of us in the V-1 Division to debark.” Sort of a “welcome home” party for 40-60 (swear jar term) sailors.

Of course, back then the base only sold “3-2” beer (3.2% alcohol) because it was “less filling.” And to answer your next question, after three or four (swear jar term)-ing beers, they all “tasted great.”

The Swear Jar in the Time of COVID

Here’s an idea that will surely make your day. Instead of putting money into the swear jar, take a project out of the job jar. Or, if it’s a particularly “colorful” swear word, put money in AND take out the job task.

Who makes up these (swear jar term) rules?

And if you want to make a game out of it (I don’t know why sailors would do this, since it comes natural to us, whether or not it’s a game), but now you can purchase the “Swear Jar” game for only $20 US Dollars. Available from Breaking Games.

Oh yeah… Just in case you wanted to know, Amazon has over 1,000 results for the “Swear Jar.” I guess it is still popular. And if you’re “Amazon Prime,” order it today and get it in two days.

I swear… the things Amazon can find and sell.

And, if Amazon isn’t enough and you want more, well guess what? You won’t be disappointed. Just head to your local “Google Play” store and download “The Swear Jar” app developed by SDREmthix. Or, if you’re on the dark side and use an iPhone (or iOS device), head over to the Apple Store and pick up (i.e., download) Sinup-the digital swear jar app.

I swear… the things today’s (swear jar term) technology companies come up with.

And for those of us who served in the Navy (actually, any military branch), there’s a recent study of 52 executives, medical doctors, lawyers, and one (count ‘em—1) army colonel who were interviewed; the study found that “almost” all of these professionals swore “at some point, daily.”

I swear… the things some (swear jar term)-ing academics will study these days.

Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I said a cuss word, I’d be a (swear jar term) gazillionaire.

Anyone else?

Stay safe, my friends.

Until we meet again,
Andy

Andy Adkins is a US Navy veteran (’73-77) and the author of several books. His newest novel, NEVER FORGET, is the story of A Vietnam Veteran’s Journey for Redemption & Forgiveness. NEVER FORGET is FREE (eBook, PDF) for all veterans. Download your FREE copy HERE.

Previous posts mentioned in this blog:

• #70—Chit, Bird Farm, Scuttlebutt… What?
• #48—Not Just Another House Fire
• #17—From Sailor to Civilian
• #30—USS Kitty Hawk @ Bremerton Shipyards, Part 1

Answers

1. Ben Franklin.  
2. Forrest Gump (1994), Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks).
3. Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head (1969), B.J. Thomas; written by Burt Bacharach, Hal David.