A Veteran's Journey

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So… you wanted to know what it’s like being a sailor, living aboard a small floating city, and generally what it’s like being at sea for months at a time. Well, here are a few (oh yeah, there are plenty more) suggestions, just in case you really wanted to try it. This is the 2nd of an nth part series… Enjoy!

• Empty all the garbage bins in your house and sweep the driveway three times a day, whether it needs it or not. (Stop referring to the garbage bins as “S#$@-CAN’s”).
• Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read your magazines, and randomly lose every 5th item before delivering it to you. (call it, “MAIL CALL”).
• Watch no TV except for movies played in the middle of the night. Have your family vote on which movie to watch, then show a different one. (call it ,”MOVIE NIGHT”).
• Make your family menu a week ahead of time without consulting the pantry or refrigerator.
• Post a menu on the kitchen door informing your family that they are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for an hour. When they finally get to the kitchen, tell them you are out of steak, but they can have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they ignore the menu and just ask for hot dogs.
• Bake a cake. Prop up one side of the pan so the cake bakes unevenly. Spread icing real thick to level it off.
• Get up every night around midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or hot dogs on stale bread. (“Midrats” = MIDNIGHT RATIONS).
• Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. At the alarm, jump up and dress as fast as you can, making sure to button your top shirt button and tuck your pants into your socks. Run out into the backyard and uncoil the garden hose. (call it, “FIRE DRILL”).
• Every week or so, throw your dog in the pool and shout, “Man overboard port side!” Rate your family members on how fast they respond.
• Put the headphones from your stereo on your head, but don’t plug them in. Hang a paper cup around your neck on a string. Stand in front of the stove, and speak into the paper cup “Stove manned and ready.” After an hour or so, speak into the cup again “Stove secured.” Roll up the headphones and paper cup and stow them in a shoebox. (call them, “SOUND-POWERED TELEPHONES”).

There will be more…

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Andy Adkins is a US Navy veteran (’73-77) and the author of several books, including You Can’t Get Much Closer Than This-Combat with the 80th “Blue Ridge” Division in World War II Europe, published by Casemate Publishers (2005) and selected as the Book of the Month for the Military Book Club. His newest novel, NEVER FORGET, is the story of A Vietnam Veteran’s Journey for Redemption & Forgiveness; NEVER FORGET is offered as a FREE (PDF, eBook format) download. Adkins also writes a weekly blog, “A Veteran’s Journey.”