Based on readership (i.e., “views” as social media geeks call it), here are the top 3 Navy Friday Funny posts for 2020. All involve a Navy Chief (why is that NOT a surprise) and are all favorites.
Enjoy! and welcome to the year… 2021.
The Chief & the Gunny
An old Navy Chief and an old Marine Gunny were sitting at the VFW arguing about who’d had the tougher career.
“I did 30 years in the Corps,” the Gunny declared proudly, “and fought in three of my country’s wars.
“Fresh out of boot camp I hit the beach at Okinawa, clawed my way up the blood-soaked sand, and eventually took out an entire enemy machine gun nest with a single grenade.
“As a sergeant, I fought in Korea alongside General MacArthur. We pushed back the enemy inch by bloody inch all the way up to the Chinese border, always under a barrage of artillery and small arms fire.
“Finally, as a gunny sergeant, I did three consecutive combat tours in Vietnam. We humped through the mud and razor grass for 14 hours a day, plagued by rain and mosquitoes, ducking under sniper fire all day and mortar fire all night. In a fire fight, we’d fire until our arms ached and our guns were empty, then we’d charge the enemy with bayonets!”
The Navy Chief takes a long swig of his drink, then turns to the Gunny with a sly smile.
“Ah,” said the Chief with a dismissive wave of his hand, “all shore duty, huh?”
The Master Chief and the Admiral
A Navy Master Chief and an Admiral died on the same day and both went to heaven.
When they got to heaven, Saint Peter met them at the Pearly Gates. “Welcome, gentlemen. Let me show you to you new quarters here in Heaven.”
The Admiral asked with a smirk, “Mind if I see my new home first? After all, I was an Admiral.” Saint Peter replied, “Sure,” and off the three of them went.
When they arrived at the Admiral’s new home, they saw that it was a beautiful condo in a gated community with a swimming pool and a tennis court the Admiral could use.
The Admiral was very pleased with his new condo.
Saint Peter said, “Come on, Master Chief. I’ll show you where you are going to live here in heaven.”
The Admiral said he would like to tag along because he hadn’t seen a lot of heaven yet. So off the three of them went to see the Master Chief’s new home.
When they arrived at a huge hill, they pulled up the drive and into a massive mansion.
Saint Peter said, “Here you go, Master Chief, this is your new home. It has a private pool, six bedrooms, a tennis court, and a private gym. This heavenly home has anything and everything you could possibly want.”
While the Master Chief was surveying his new home, the Admiral pulled Saint Peter to the side.
“I don’t understand why the Chief’s home is so big and mine is only a condo. Down on earth, I was an Admiral and he was only a Master Chief.”
Saint Peter replied, “Admiral, you don’t understand. You see, we get a lot of Admirals here in heaven. But rarely do we see a Navy Master Chief!”
The Chief & the Ensign
A Navy Chief Petty Officer was bragging to a young Ensign one day. “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone… anyone, and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, the Ensign called the Chief’s bluff. “Okay, Chief. How about Tom Cruise?”
“Oh, sure. Yeah. Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it.”
So the two of them fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, “Chief! Great to see you again! You and your little friend come right on in and join me for lunch!”
Although impressed, the Ensign is still skeptical. After they leave Tom Cruise’s house, he tells the Chief that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“Oh, no, not at all. Just name anyone else,” the Chief says.
“President Bush,” the Ensign quickly retorts.
“Yep. I know him, too. Let’s fly to Washington and I’ll introduce you.”
So, off they go. At the White House, President Bush spots them on the tour and motions them over, saying, “Chief, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and that Ensign fella can come on in and let’s catch up.”
Well, the Ensign is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds, he again expresses his doubts to the Chief, who again implores him to name anyone else.
“The new Pope,” the Ensign replies.
“Sure, I’ve known the Pope a long time.”
So, off they fly to Rome. They’re assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when the Chief says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.”
He disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter’s. Sure enough, half an hour later, the Chief emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
But by the time the Chief returns, he finds that the Ensign has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to the Ensign’s side, the Chief asks, “What happened?”
The Ensign looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and The Pope came out on the balcony and the tourist next to me asked, “Who’s that on the balcony next to the Chief?”