On a rather slow day, to further cement amicable relations between branches, the Department of Defense came up with a plan to have a massive camping trip involving all the actively enlisted men.
A grunt, a sailor and an airman found themselves together at a covered mess table. After customary greeting grunts and military slurs, they decided they might as well make the best of a bad situation and try to get along.
The sailor spoke first. “Hey. What didja guys bring along?”
“Well, I brought some bug spray,” the grunt said.
“Whatzzat for?” The other two asked.
“Keeps the bugs off, you dumb-asses.”
After several minutes of silence, the sailor spoke up again, nodding to the airman. “What didja bring?”
“A sleeping bag.”
“Why did ya do that? We already got some supplied,” the grunt pointed out.
The pampered airman responded, “Yea well, they didn’t have the nice thermal-padded ones.”
Rolling his eyes, the grunt looked ready to kick the airman’s rear. As he was standing up, the sailor coughed politely. The other two look him over to the sailor, who was grinning ear to ear. The airman asked the question which the sailor so obviously wanted to be asked. “What did you bring?”
“A car door.”
“What the hell would you need a car door for?!” The thoroughly agitated grunt yelped.
The sailor’s toothy smile got larger. “If we get hot, we can roll the window down.”
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don’t speak the same language.
For instance, Take the simple phrase “secure the building.”
The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will shoot everybody inside and set up a headquarters.
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, “What time is it?”
The tower responded, “Who is calling?”
The aircraft replied, “What difference does it make?”
The tower replied, “It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o’clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it’s Thursday afternoon.”
You know I can’t resist asking marines if they ever found those ‘few good men.’ Then I break it to them: they’re in the Navy! Just doing my part. Haha
Blessings.
All in jest, I say… all in jest.