Each military branch of the United States has its own cultures, language, and traditions. In the Navy, the Chief Petty Officer serves a dual role as both a technical expert and as a leader; emphasis being more on leadership. There is always a sense of humor that comes from this culture. For the Navy, I find the more ingenious humor typically involves a CPO.
Enjoy this Navy Friday Funny!
A retired Navy Chief Petty Officer was shopping at his local COSTCO in Jacksonville. His main purchase was a large bag of Purina dog chow for his loyal German Shepherd dog, Jake. He was patiently standing in the check-out line when a woman behind him asked if he had a dog.
So, because he was retired and didn’t care for small talk, especially such an obvious question as that, he said, “No ma’am. I don’t have a dog. I’m starting the Purina Diet again.” He went on to add that he probably shouldn’t, because he ended up in the hospital last time he was on it. But he’d lost 50 pounds before waking up in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of his orifices and IVs in both arms.
She was shocked.
The Chief then went on to tell her that it was essentially a perfect diet. “The way that it works is, first load up your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets, then simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well, and I decided I’d try it again, since I’d put on a few extra pounds.”
Practically everyone in line was now enthralled with the Chief’s story.
Horrified, the lady asked if he ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned him.
The Chief replied without blinking an eye, “No, ma’am. I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.”
The guy behind her was close to having a heart attack because he was laughing so hard.
The moral of the story… Better watch what you ask retired Navy Chief Petty Officers. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
Andy Adkins is a US Navy veteran (’73-77) and the author of several books, including You Can’t Get Much Closer Than This-Combat with the 80th “Blue Ridge” Division in World War II Europe, published by Casemate Publishers (2005) and selected as the Book of the Month for the Military Book Club. His newest novel, NEVER FORGET, is the story of A Vietnam Veteran’s Journey for Redemption & Forgiveness; NEVER FORGET is offered as a FREE (PDF, eBook format) download. Adkins also writes a weekly blog, “A Veteran’s Journey.”
So funny!