Navy Friday Funny – The Chief’s Missing Wife

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Each military branch of the United States has its own cultures, language, and traditions. In the Navy, the Chief Petty Officer serves a dual role as both a technical expert and as a leader; emphasis being more on leadership. There is always a sense of humor that comes from this culture. For the Navy, I find the more ingenious humor typically involves a CPO.

Enjoy this Navy Friday Funny. An oldie, but a goodie!


After being home for a week following a nine-month overseas deployment, a Navy Chief Petty Officer went down to the base Master-at-Arms station to report his wife was missing.

Chief: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday, supposedly to the Base Navy Exchange, and hasn’t come home.

MA: What is her height?

Chief: Let me think… I’m not sure. Maybe a little over five feet tall.

MA: Weight?

Chief: I don’t know. She’s not slim, but she’s not very fat, either.

MA: What’s the color of her eyes?

Chief: I really don’t know. Dark, I think.

MA: Do you know the color of her hair?

Chief: She changes it a couple of times a year. Maybe dark brown.

MA: What was she wearing the last time you saw her?

Chief: Coulda been a skirt or shorts. I don’t remember exactly.

MA: What kind of car did she leave in?

Chief: She took my truck.

MA: What kind of truck?

Chief: It was a brand new 2020 Ford F150 King Ranch 4×4 with eco-boost 5.0 liter V8 engine special ordered with manual 5-speed transmission. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed. Custom leather seats and “CPO” floor mats. It included a trailering package with a gold hitch. DVD with navigation, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, and four internal power outlets. They added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. The wife put a small scratch on the driver’s side door.

At this point, the husband started choking up.

MA: Don’t worry, Chief. We’ll find your truck.