Navy Friday Funny – The Chief & the Ensign

On oldie, but goodie. Enjoy!

Each military branch of the United States has its own cultures, language, and traditions. In the Navy, the Chief Petty Officer serves a dual role as both a technical expert and as a leader; emphasis being more on leadership. There is always a sense of humor that comes from this culture. For the Navy, I find the more ingenious humor typically involves a CPO.


A Navy Chief Petty Officer was bragging to a young Ensign one day. “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone… anyone, and I know them.” 

Tired of his boasting, the Ensign called the Chief’s bluff. “Okay, Chief. How about Tom Cruise?” 

“Oh, sure. Yeah. Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it.” 

So the two of them fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, “Chief! Great to see you again! You and your little friend come right on in and join me for lunch!” 

Although impressed, the Ensign is still skeptical. After they leave Tom Cruise’s house, he tells the Chief that he thinks his knowing Cruise was just lucky.

“Oh, no, not at all. Just name anyone else,” the Chief says.

“President Bush,” the Ensign quickly retorts. 

“Yep. I know him, too. Let’s fly to Washington and I’ll introduce you.” 

So, off they go. At the White House, President Bush spots them on the tour and motions them over, saying, “Chief, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and that Ensign fella can come on in and let’s catch up.” 

Well, the Ensign is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. 

After they leave the White House grounds, he again expresses his doubts to the Chief, who again implores him to name anyone else. 

“The new Pope,” the Ensign replies.

“Sure, I’ve known the Pope a long time.”

So, off they fly to Rome. They’re assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when the Chief says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.”

He disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter’s. Sure enough, half an hour later, the Chief emerges with the Pope on the balcony. 

But by the time the Chief returns, he finds that the Ensign has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. 

Working his way to the Ensign’s side, the Chief asks, “What happened?” 

The Ensign looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and The Pope came out on the balcony and the tourist next to me asked, “Who’s that on the balcony next to the Chief?”